Sometimes it's difficult to remember when you're caring for someone else that you still have needs yourself as an individual. Try to make time to yourself. In your routine try to make some ‘you time’. It could be that you just have a nice cup of tea, going for a walk, or even have lunch out but important you do something to take care of yourself. Try to keep up with your circle of friends, make time to socialising with them. It's just as important that you look after your own emotional health, as let's face it without it you will find it hard to support anyone else. It's important you observe your own limits and the person you're caring for is aware of this. You can only do what you can do and try not to forget this. Take care of the basics; make sure you're eating well, sleeping well, and taking regular exercise.

Listening Listening is a vital skill when helping someone with BPD; it is more than simply hearing what they say – it also includes understanding what they have said in your own way. It is important to remember listening is an active process. Good listening skills involve: Give the person your full attention Allow the person to finish what they are saying without interrupting Listen for the key points in what the person says Clarify things you are unsure of Feedback to the person to show you have understood Validation Validation is another important skill and consists of two parts. The first involves mindful listening and requires you to give the person your full and undivided attention and to show an interest in what the person has to say in the form of verbal and non-verbal cues (i.e. facial expression and gestures). The second part of validation involves reflecting and acknowledging what the person has told you. In your reflection, you should not simply repeat what the person has said in parrot fashion, but instead convey the essence of what the person has said. As part of validation it is also important that you clarify and summarise. This is vital…

In the following guidelines “regular and substantial” refers to at least 35 hours per week. Mental Health Bill Provides carers with the right to be consulted during an assessment.Does not provide carers with the right to be consulted by mental health tribunal at the time of discharge Allows change of “nearest relative” provision in favour of a “nominated person”. “Nearest relative” refers to the person who comes highest: Provides carers with the right to be consulted during an assessment. Does not provide carers with the right to be consulted by mental health tribunal at the time of discharge Allows change of “nearest relative” provision in favour of a “nominated person”. “Nearest relative” refers to the person who comes highest: Husband or wife Eldest: Child parent brother or sister grandparent uncle or aunt nephew or niece There are however some exceptions to this list. The Mental Health Act (1983 – sections 26 – 30) A nearest relative or nominated person has the right to: Request that an assessment be carried out by an approved social worker (ASW) if they feel that the person they are caring for requires this and they are unwilling to request care themselves. Apply for compulsory admission…

Financial Support Carers Allowance Carer’s Allowance is a benefit for people over 16 who spend a regular and substantial amount of time caring for a disabled person. It is non-means tested or reliant on National Insurance record. There is however, an earnings limit if they are in paid employment The basic eligibility criteria for claiming carers allowance: Carer’s Allowance is a benefit for people over 16 who spend a regular and substantial amount of time caring for a disabled person. It is non-means tested or reliant on National Insurance record. There is however, an earnings limit if they are in paid employment The basic eligibility criteria for claiming carers allowance:In some circumstances a carer claiming Carer’s Allowance may reduce the means tested benefit of the person they are caring for. It is therefore recommended to seek advice before claiming carers’ allowance. aged 16 or over at date of claim…and if in work, must not earn more than £90…and not in full time education…and care for a disabled person for at least 35 hours a week…and the disabled person must receive Attendance Allowance or the high or middle rates of DLA Care Component…and must not be ‘subject to immigration control’…and must…

One of most popular enquiries we receive from Parers of people with Personality Disorder is “How the do I get my loved one diagnosed?” I'm afraid the short answer is you don't, you can't, or at least not without their cooperation. Should you have this, then the process is quite simple. Go with the person you suspect of having a Personality Disorder to their GP. Ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist. Should they be able to afford it, going to see a Private Psychiatrist is quite a lot quicker and costs in the region of £150. Speak about your suspicion of Personality Disorder being the appropriate diagnosis. Many people however, will not receive this cooperation and therefore must consider asking themselves “Why is it I want them to receive a diagnosis?” Could it be that you are looking for a reason or excuse for their behaviour? Even if they had the diagnosis would it excuse their behaviour? What does it mean to you, if your loved one receives a diagnosis? It is completely understandable for you to want an explanation as to why your life is more complex and chaotic due to this person behaving in a manner which…