Why is my life such a mess?
Filled with all sorts of thoughts and stress.
I need to filter siphon and make sense
But instead it gets worse I get tense
Irritation impulsion emotional dread
So much goes on in my little head.
They give it a label call it BPD
What does it mean where does it leave me?
One day I wake up as happy as Larry
The next my head is sore and hard to carry
My shoulders can’t bear the weight
The feelings close in I feel I am going to suffocate
An internal scream needs to be heard
The angel the devil my thoughts are always third
They say you just need to learn control
But it’s much harder than they think or know
In your mind you know what’s right
But you can’t see past the fight to the light
I can’t filter siphon or decipher
To me I feel like a borderline lifer
I know deepdown that it’s not true
But where do I start what do I do?
My head says yes then it says no
If I am lucky sometimes all my thoughts go
I don’t mean to hurt or upset
When I do it leaves me in constant debt
Debt to guilt and bad feelings I shout I scream
I leave people reeling I am not a bad person
And everyday I fear it will worsen
All I can do is try and try
And hopefully that will make me the better stronger guy.