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Tuesday, 03 March 2015 11:26

Scared

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I was abused as a child by a close family member from as far back as I can remember until I was old enough to turn around and put a stop to it, I'm convinced my mother knew?? I lived in a violent household where my dad was always drunk and always beat up my mum and my brother, but not the girls. I cried under my covers when he came home coz i was so scared and knew what to expect and I wet the bed until I was 16. I got involved with a lad at the age of 14 and continued in a relationship with him for 5 years just letting him cheat on me cause I was too scared and insecure to let him go. Straight after we split i met my husband and things were well until about 5 years ago he beat me up when he was drunk. I was scared to leave, maybe again through insecurity. Things got better. Then I met someone I fell in love with and had a 4 month affair, he walked away coz he couldn't handle my moods swings. I got pregnant and had a secret abortion, the father was the guy I had the affair with and I never told him. I tried to kill myself but I bottled it and am still here regrettably. I make friends then lose them because I such a bitch. in 2002 I was diagnosed as having pre cancerous cells on my cervix, although they were removed I got them back now I don't care if it kills me. Hey, this world would be a better PLACE.

Don't know what I've missed but that about sums up my shit life