Well I am the oldest of 7 which is confusing story in its self i was molested at a young age I am not sure for how long or really what age but i was young i was raised thinking my father (bio) father died in Vietnam wrong but ill get to that my adoptive father molested me for however long my mother would say if i did not show my body off that my brothers would have a father and she did not put him in jail because you can't get child support from a man in jail ( my mother logic) anyways during sometime my mother had two girls who came to live with us my mother was very abusive towards us girls. I spent most of my adolescent life in and out of psyche hospitals even spent my 16th birthday in a hospital well 13 years ago on July 16 I had had an abortion after a very violet rape and after coming home from the procedure I may have been home for like an hour when the phone and someone knocking on my door all at the same time turned out my youngest sister had died in the night it slowly came about that the suspected suicide was more to believe of murder a month after her death my mother was arrested for the murder of my sister my mother pretty much hung her self on the stand when she said while I was on the stand that it was supposed to be me she found guilty of 16 charges in like 3 hours of all charges and so I went to drinking and drugs to cope and now I am clean and sober trying to deal with reality and just diagnosed with BPD blow my mind people wonder why I have fears of being abandoned.